Tonight I’m tired. Deep down bone tired.
And contented. I’m happy. I’m excited.
Today my wife got to come home from the hospital. 11 days in the ICU ward, having to watch her suffer. Having to work hard all day in hundred degree heat, take a quick shower, feed the kids, then drive to the next town over just to gown up just to enter her room and sit and hold her hand while I silently prayed. I would sit there every night by her bed wondering what was going to happen and tonight I’m laying here on the bed with her, my arm around her as we watch the kids play in the floor.
I almost lost her. Today the doctor came in with a half hour speech about how it was touch and go the first few days. He told her he would like her to stay in the hospital indefinitely but that if he allowed her to go home she needed to realize that the next infection could kill her. This was so much more serious than anyone knew.
She will have me changing her fluids and keeping everything as sterile as possible and she has two different home care nurses coming out. One will be coming out daily to give her antibiotics for the next two weeks and the other will be changing the dressing on her PICC and doing some of the other meds. It’s going to be tough. Going to be expensive, going to be tiring. But it’s wonderful because my wife is feeling better and she is home. My wife, my partner, my best friend is home!
I stood in the doorway when we got home and watched all the children gathered around her, hugging her and everyone crying. Tears of joy and happiness. Em was so happy to finally get to see her kids and the kids were overjoyed because mommy was home. It was so sweet.
Today for the first time I got to feel the baby move. I might have had something in my eyes though cause I was tearing up a little. It was so magical. Feeling that new life, that combined piece of Emily and I. A miracle baby. Words can’t express how I felt. It was magic.
Once we got home and the kids stopped clinging to mommy, they all had to put their hands on her belly so they could feel the baby too. It was so sweet. Tomorrow afternoon we go for a sonogram to see if they can tell us the sex of the baby. That will be exciting.
I’ve been able to work every day this week so that makes me feel good. I’ve got jobs lined up on the side for when we aren’t working at the tree service. Money goes out faster than it comes in, but as long as I’m working I know we will make it. I’ve got a meeting Saturday that could be a total turn around for us. I’m trying not to get too excited, but it’s hard with what could be a dream coming true if it does work out. I have so much stress ,and bills coming due every day, but I’m optimistic. I think I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I believe in myself and in my family.
I’m thankful. For my wife, for my kids, for the friends that have stuck by us with encouraging words and prayers. I’m thankful I’m able to work. Heck, I’m even thankful for the aches and pains that come from putting in a good honest day’s work.
I got a note tonight from someone. Just telling me they believed in me and my dreams. Do you realize how much something like that means after a month like I’ve had? How uplifting it is to once in a while hear someone supportive instead of negative? I am so blessed.
I am not really a religious man. I don’t go to church like I should, I occasionally let slip some foul language, I have been known to tell someone off. But I try to be a good man. And I try hard to improve day by day. I’m not a great husband or father but I’m trying so hard to be. And tonight I think I’ll bend a knee, close my eyes, and thank the good lord for all the many blessings in my life.
Life is good.